Since the only people who will be reading this are the people who I tell about it, and since the people I tell will be the people who know my case well enough to not really need explanation of what’s going on in my life right now, I suppose an introduction is rather redundant.
But fuck all ya’ll, I like talking about myself.
To greatly simplify what has increasingly proven to be the most difficult time of my life, I’m more than a little messed up in the head right now. I’m not going to claim that I’m better now (which I have far too often), because, let’s face it, I’m not. For the last two years, I’ve been sinking lower and lower into a depression that violently threatened to take control of my life as I tried in vain to fight it until, two months ago, it did. I finally reached a point where I couldn’t function, and built a little house there in Rock Bottom, living in misery for a few weeks until the negative consequences of doing absolutely nothing at all kicked me in the ass. I reached a point where everything in my life came collapsing downwards, and I had to admit that my brain was, for lack of a better term, completely twisted. But, it’s getting less so, so I guess that’s pretty rad.
So, that brings us to now. It’s 6.52AM, I’m sitting in a living room in Utah after a sleepless night, and I’ve just finished watching my semi-legally acquired films, and I realized that, among the list of my goals for my semester off, I’ve honestly only made progress in a grand total of none of them. Which is a few less than desired.
Which is where the blog comes in. Ever since I, being a little prick of a second grader, first used the word lest in everyday conversation, I’ve realized that not only do I love writing, but it actively defines how I speak, how I act, who I am. I’ve been avoiding a serious record of my life for ages because, to be honest, I haven’t really been proud of the life I’d set for myself to record. But, now I have a blog, so I can’t really get away with being boring anymore. Yep, shit just got real.
